Making friends with fear

Fear is a little bit of a conundrum. On one hand it can drive us to do great things and awaken our instincts to ensure physical safety. On the other, fear can sabotage our dreams. Although, always with good intentions.

It is not uncommon to perceive fear as the enemy. As something we need to overcome. But what happens when we acknowledge our fear and learn to love it for its honourable desire? 

Fear is part of our survival mechanism, programmed within us from the beginning of time. It is hyper-focused at keeping us safe. Once, this meant protecting us from being attacked by some wild saber-toothed animal or the like. Now, fear's job is to keep us safe from wild ideas it identifies as dangerous. Especially now embarrassment and failure are more recent programming our psyche considers a risk to our safety.

I was invited to write a letter to my fear recently. And rather than showing fear who was boss, or telling it to go away, I decided to embrace fear with the same compassion I show to others. To be grateful and understanding of fear. Sitting in a dry river bed with dirt between my toes and the afternoon sun creating long shadows around me and those I was with, I wrote from my body a letter of love to my fear. I wrote with feeling and the deep knowing of my bones.

Dear Fear, 

Thank you for wanting to protect me. Bless your unwavering love. I appreciate your thoughtfulness and care. Let me show you darling, the beauty the world has to offer, if you dare to step outside.

I will hold your hand and gently guide you to the edge. Where we will not fall. Where we will have wings and fly like a bird, should the earth crumble beneath our feet.

And at the end of a hard day my darling Fear, when you are weary, I will lay you down and gently wrap you in the love of my heart and rock you to sleep. We do not have to fight. You do not have to be so loud. It is not all your responsibility. You are part of me. Not all of me.

Love Kristina.


Lisa, thank you for seeing the beauty in this letter. I have shared it for anyone to use to speak to their fear as they need. I hope you hold your fear gently in your arms. With kindness and gratitude, Kristina

Kristina Garla September 20, 2022

Venessa, thank you for your kind words. My heart is filled with love to know you enjoyed the insights and what you needed found you, when you needed it – as it often does. With kindness and gratitude, Kristina

Kristina Garla September 20, 2022

Kristina, I am really enjoying your insights, they speak so profoundly to me, and this one I needed this morning. Much love for this work, thank you xx

Venessa September 20, 2022

That is a beautiful letter. Hope you dont mind that I use it!!

lisa September 20, 2022

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